Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
