I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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