I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
