she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
