Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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