she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize