DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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