Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you had me at cake vodka
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
pray to the hookup gods
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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