I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
