this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
