Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize