Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What a dumb baby whore.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
