Soap is not a condiment
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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