No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
