I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
