My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
