id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize