do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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