It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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