I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
