Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
