Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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