just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
