i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
