They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Farmville is her only friend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
