I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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