Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
