can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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