oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
