Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
