somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
