I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
