ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
