So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
