so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
