Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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