Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
