hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
