I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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