im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
nutella sex= disaster
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
