plz talk dirty to me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
