Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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