Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize