Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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