Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize