Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
