I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's never too late to be topless.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
