Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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