Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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