its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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