When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
