oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
