We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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