if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
