UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
