I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
