The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize