ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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