Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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