just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
