OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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